Pitt - Buttgers: Live Wlog!

All times PST.

9:04 - Roll out of bed in time to see the infamous gold jerseys. Maybe I'm still drunk? Oh, and the sharp Sarah Kustok tells us about the mythical 'waiting list' for Buttgers tickets. This is taking on WMD proportions.

9:08 - Apparently during the bye week Pitt took special teams lessons from the Steelers.

9:12 - Direct quote "Lovelace can throw the ball very effectively" as they display his season completion percentage of 33.....

9:21 - And He Who Went to Bowl Games returns as a goblin to call a quick kick that travels 7 yards. Innovative!

9:23 - Make that a 4-yard punt.

9:25 - Cox benefits by being ridiculously beat! INT!

9:27 - Most abysmal play-calling I've ever seen. What a fucking pussy set of plays, Cavanaugh. You have momentum on your side so you run up the middle three straight times. Yeah, Buttgers will never expect that.........what a joke.

9:32 - Sack and fumble by Scott McKillop!! If they waste this opportunity.......

9:39 - The most unbelievable series of plays I've ever seen. I can't even describe it.

9:41 - 8 tries inside the 5 and we're kicking a field goal. This, my friends, is Pitt Football.

9:43 - Nevermind, we're going for it and.......WE GET IT!!!!!! TD STRONG! Wow, what a result following a bizarre series of plays.

9:49 - Way to keep the momentum building....nothing like giving up a long TD pass. Well done.

9:59 - Buttgers player is down, and Schiano is out there. What good can he possibly be doing there?

10:05 - INT Scott McKillop!!!!

10:12 - And after a FG that looks like it was kicked by me, we get nothing out of the TO. Meanwhile, the titanic Fat 10 matchup between overrated #1 and overrated #2 is 7-3, with the number of people asleep outnumbering the number of yards gained.

10:28 - Weak PI call leads to a Rice TD run, highlighted by poor tackling and being out of position. In other words, the Rhoads' defense we've come to loathe over the last half-decade.

10:42 - Our offense is abysmal. Without McCoy, I shudder to think where this team would be. I'm starting to lose faith that Pat Bostick will develop into a D1 QB. He can't seem to complete a pass over 5 yards, he isn't mobile enough to avoid pressure, and frankly his footwork is frightening.

11:01 - Well, we get the ball first, let's see what adjustments (snicker) were made at halftime.

11:02 - Kevan Smith is apparently coming in at QB......let's see how this goes.

11:09 - Smith shows some mobility, but our passing game is still nowhere to be seen.

11:15 - The defense is playing very well today, too bad the offense can't help them out. And on cue, the offense shoots itself in the foot again. Expect Buttgers to score a TD on this drive.

11:23 - See? God damn it, the defense plays well, takes momentum back, but the offense won't do shit.

11:35 - Nice drive stalls because of some ridiculous shit. If not for Lee's horrendous 31-yard miss, we'd (somehow) be down by 1.

11:51 - Our offense is abysmal.

11:57 - This might be the best game the defense has played in 5 years. Shockingly, the offense won't be able to put 7 on the board. Just watch.

12:02 - See?

12:08 - And here is where our defense spits the bit and gives up a TD.......

12:11 - Dropped INT, Buttgers with a FG atempt. And it is good, Buttgers by 4. By the way, The Fat 10 still sucks.

12:15 - Good starting field position. Let's see how the offense can screw this up.

12:19 - We fucking suck.

12:23 - Our offense fucking sucks. Our defense is playing balls out.

12:31 - WEAK PI call. Fucking weak. How much did Guido pay the refs for that one? Nice fucking game refs.

Fucking Buttgers is awful, and should never have won this game. This is only a testament to how bad our offense is.

Enter the Buttgers is still "turning the corner" to "sleeping giant" zone.

Welcome once again Pitt Panther faithful to the factor for this Monday, November 12th, 2007. I'm your host and I'm always in my seat 90 minutes before kickoff, especially when Pitt is about to take on the Buttgers Scarlet Gandolfinis. The Panthers are coming off of a bye week, while Rutgers put a very un-Veterans day-like whooping on the US Military Academy. This game will likely end up determining who finishes 4th in the Big East, and is the topic of this week's He Who Went to Bowl Gaming Points Memo.


Buttgers. Seriously? First of all, people bag on Pitt's schedule, but have you looked at Buttgers'? Buffalo? Norfolk State? Army and Navy? Jesus, Buttgers plays so many service academies you'd think they were Notre Dame. Buttgers has been the sleeping giant of college football since 1869. Unfortunately for fans of this program, Buttgers seems to have overdosed on Lunesta. The savior of this program, Greg Schiano (right), looks and acts like everyone's 7th grade gym teacher. We here at the Factor can only imagine what Buttgers' practices must be like. "Ok, Teel, I want you to get the garbage cans. Ray. Ray! Go get the tricycles. Time for three-wheeled basketball! Someone go get Underwood and Britt, tell them to stop watching 'The Toxic Avenger'". Classic. Epic. This is Buttgers Football.

And what on earth is with the chopping wood shit? Yeah Greg, keep chopping wood. One day that will be just as cool as Bud Foster's lunch pail (below left).We here at the factor aren't sure why young adults who are competitive by nature need ridiculous gimmicks to succeed. Our guess? These gimmicks cover up the stunning lack of ability that coaches possess. Coaches like Buttgers' very own Greg Schiano. How else, other than lack of coaching acumen, do you explain running a 5'7" running back 95 times per game? Saturday's game should be a classic battle of who can run the ball more in the least acceptable situations. It may be the first time in recorded history that there are no punts, as Schiano and Wannstedt try to out ground game one another, calling delayed wrap-around draws on 4th downs rather than admitting their respective running games aren't getting the job done.

There really is very little to like about Buttgers. They're a classless fan base, berating the Midshipmen with language a sailor would be embarrassed to hear on the deck of the USS Lincoln. They have their B-list celebrity, the hideous, bear-like alternative to Kentucky and Ashley Judd in James Gandolfini. Fewer people in the greater New York City area care about Buttgers football than care about Columbia, Fordham, and St. John's football combined. Pitt fans complain about our attendance, but at least Pitt plays in a facility than seats more than 4,500 people.

So in conclusion, Buttgers, like the 98% of New Jersey not encompassed by the Princeton campus, sucks. No two ways about that. Keep it tuned to Panther Rants all week as we breakdown the titanic match-up sure to set football back 2 decades.